Skip to content

Killer Texas Laws and Lawmakers Continue To Amaze

May 3, 2009

Texas Capitol

Texas Constitution and Statutes

Texas Legislature cranking out variety of stiffer penalties for obscure crimes

Despite pledges to reverse Texas’ “lock ‘em up” reputation,  House lawmakers continue to expand the state’s penal code, tacking tougher penalties onto increasingly obscure crimes. Some make these “criminal enhancements” on behalf of police departments and prosecutors, who have found loopholes in the law.

And then there’s that good old death penalty. Texas is proud to kill more inmates than any other state … Yee HA!

History of the Death Penalty in Texas

What is the Law of Parties?

The Law of Parties allows people who “should have anticipated” a murder to receive the death penalty for the actions of another person. A person sentenced to death under the Law of Parties has not killed anyone. They are accomplices or co-conspirators of one felony, such as robbery, during which another person killed someone.

The Texas Legislature is currently considering HB 2267 and HB 304, which would both prohibit the state from imposing the death penalty on people convicted under the Law of Parties.

bannerblue9021

Texas Death Penalty Website

Editorials Regarding Kenneth Foster and the Law of Parties

texas_death_house

Death Row Information

BossKitty went to Sam Houston State in Huntsville Texas, decades ago.  BossKitty lived 3 blocks from this building.  Protesters and families passed beneath the apartment window on execution nights.  Yes, BossKitty believes there must be absolute rethink on how execution is perceived as a solution to criminal acts.  There are several sides to each story that must be considered.  Extermination is absolutely the final revenge for any crime that takes human life with deliberate intent. Yes, experiencing these events impacted BossKitty opinion.

All the points leading to execution have been sloppy for too long. Sloppy is convenient, dust off your hands, it is done!  All well and good.  A revengeful public is satisfied that justice is served when the last breath is taken by a hardened killer.  That same public cannot be bothered with any details.  But, today, technology has been the savior for many, many death row inmates.  The laws of man and the laws of your chosen supreme being must not be confused! Texas does not “coddle killers”  unless they are white anglo and politically to their liking.  I have no stand on the death penalty in general because it is part of world history, right or wrong.  But, specifically, today’s application of execution is so skewed to the old stereotypical scripts, that the whole concept is barbarian.  Civilization’s last blemish must be removed. Why a Moratorium?

Texas is a source of amusement for the world.  A state that retains a subconscious of Republic, emotes pride out of sync with reality.  This Lone Star shimmers with ego of  self … which bloats actual history.  Facts are a nuisance to a Texan.  The original Texans were NOT the colonials who stole the land from all the indigenous tribes.  Northern Texas tribes define history as the Clovis people.  Along came that nut case, Cabeza de Vaca, who blended with the locals, became a shaman and mapped enough of Texas to become famous upon returning to “civilization”.  That was how it began.  Today’s Texas decides that history began with Moses Austin, father of Stephen F. Austin, who contracted to colonize Spanish land, originally stolen from the indians.  … a sick and aging Moses Austin moved on  into Texas after setting up lead mines and factories from the east coast to Missouri. In San Antonio he struck a deal with the governor of the Spanish Province of Texas to admit settlers. He turned the course of American history, then went home to Herculaneum, Missouri, to die of pneumonia.

imperialtx

Of course his son, Stephen F. Austin, led the colonization of Texas. Today, the capital of Texas isn’t named after Moses; it’s named after Stephen. And Moses, his judgment not always as good as his vision, had to die without crossing over the Brazos River — without finally entering this new land of promise.  The original Texians became “illegal aliens”  when they turned around and bit the hand of the Spanish colonialists that

welcomed it.

Really important stuff in Texas

• A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
• A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
• Abilene: It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.
• Austin: Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.
• Beaumont: Collegiate football is banned at Lamar University.
• Borger: It is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive firecrackers of any kind.
• Clarendon: It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.
• Dallas: It’s illegal to possess realistic dildos.
• El Paso: Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons “of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them.”
• Galveston: It is illegal to drive a motor car down Broadway before noon on Sundays.
• Houston: Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on Monday. It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.
• If two trains going in opposite directions on the same track meet each other, one can’t move until the other does.

This is now.

This is now.

• If you went to church in Texas years back, you’d better be recognized. An old law made it illegal to go to church in disguise.
• In Alamo a person found intoxicated must be given a large dose of castor oil by a local doctor…and failure to gulp it down will result in a fine.
• In Corpus Christie it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.
• In Dallas County it is illegal to own any realistic looking, phallic shaped, personal massager more than one foot in length.
• In Houston you cannot buy beer after midnight on Sunday, but you can buy it on Monday.
• In Kingsville, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city’s airport property.
• In Lefors, Texas it is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer at any time while standing.
• In Mesquite, Texas it is illegal for kids to have unusual haircuts.
• In Texas criminals are required to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
• In Texas it’s legal for a chicken to have sex with you, but it’s illegal to reciprocate.
• It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
• It is illegal to carry a pair of wire-cutters in your back pocket.
• It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don’t need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
• It is illegal for a person to shoot a buffalo from the second story of their hotel.
• It is illegal to have an open container in a car.
• It is illegal to have anything protruding from your bumper unless it is attached with a chain
• It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.
• It is illegal to spit on the sidewalk.
• It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
• It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.
• It is legal for a husband to beat his wife as long as he uses something no bigger than his thumb.
• It is legal for the blind to go hunting as long as they have someone with them who isn’t blind.
• It is legal to commit a homicide as long as you tell the person when, and how you are going to kill them.
• It is Texas law that when two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
• In San Antonio, Texas, you can’t honk a horn, run a generator, have a revival meeting or do anything else that disturbs the neighborhood and the city has a four-member noise police squad to enforce the law.
• In Texas any artificial constructed underwater barrier reefs must come with an instruction booklet.

• In Texas, sixteen-year old divorced girls are prohibited from talking about sex during high school extracurricular activities.
• It is unlawful for a person to consume an alcoholic beverage while operating a motor vehicle upon a public roadway, if the person is observed doing so by a peace officer.
• Jasper: Dogs must be on a leash at ALL times. Fine of 100 dollars.

• LeFors: It is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer while standing.
• Lubbock County: It is illegal to drive within an arm’s length of alcohol – including alcohol in someone else’s blood stream.
• Mesquite: It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
• Port Arthur: Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator.
• Richardson: It is now illegal to place a “for sale” sign on a car if it visible from the street. It is illegal to do “U Turns”.
• San Antonio: It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.

• Temple: No one may ride a horse and buggy through the town square. You can ride your horse in the saloon. Cattle thieves may be hanged on the spot.
• Texarkana: Owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights.
• Texas law forbids anyone to have a pair of pliers in his possession.
• Texas state law prohibits taking more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
• The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
• There is an old law in Texas that states you are unable to tuck your pants into one boot unless you own ten or more cattle.
• When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
• You can be legally married by publicly introducing a person as your husband or wife 3 times.

Found even more:

One must acknowledge a supreme being before being able to hold public office. Full text of the law.
The Bluebonnet is the official song of the state flower. Full text of the law.
It is illegal to sell one’s eye. Full text of the law.
A program has been created in the state that attempts to control the weather. Full text of the law.
When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos. Full text of the law.
It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.
A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense. Why does this law exist?  –  Full text of the law.
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Oh, Those (strange) Texas Laws – One Law Requires Criminals to Notify Future Victims About Crimes in Advance By Mike White

You should feel safer if you live in Texas than in other states. A law requires criminals to give their victims a 24 hour notice in writing or orally before committing a crime, and that is only one of the strange laws in Texas. The criminal is also supposed to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. According to another strange Texas law, when two trains meet at a crossing, each is supposed to a complete stop. Neither is allowed to proceed until the other has gone. It is illegal in Texas to sell one’s eye. The law also forbids selling any human organ. Exceptions are for physicians, medical personnel hospitals, clinical services, and in some other cases involving health professionals. Another strange Texas law is that it is illegal to shoot at a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. Make sure you never milk another person’s cow, if you want to obey Texas law. Because it contains a formula for making beer at home, the complete Encyclopedia Britannica is banned. Make sure you never loiter or are idle anyplace within the corporate limits of a city to be able to flirt or be a masher. You will be breaking the law if you do. Some cities in Texas have their own strange laws. It is illegal in Abilene to carry wire cutters in your pocket. In Beaumont, college football is banned at Lamar University. In Borger, you will be breaking the law if you throw whips, rubber balls, feather dusters, confetti, or any kind of explosive firecrackers. In Clarendon, it doesn’t matter how neat a person you are, it is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster. Make certain if you own a business such as a hotel, store, market, hall of assembly, railroad depot, saloon, or if you are in charge of a church, that you provide a spittoon, “of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them,” in El Paso.One strange Texas law is that it is illegal to land an airplane on a beach in Galveston. Also in the town, make certain you never drive a car on Broadway before noon. Make sure you never allow your camel to run loose in the street.Have you ever wished the drivers of public vehicles would obey the law when driving, like you have to? A law in Harker Heights requires drivers to do just that.In Houston, if you want to obey the law, make certain you never sell Limburger cheese on Sunday, as one strange Texas law makes that illegal.You may wonder who would be the judge, but in Mesquite, it is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.If you are in Port Arthur, you may not emit obnoxious odors if you are in an elevator.In Richardson, never do U turns, if you want to obey the law. Don’t place a “for sale” sign in front of your house, if it is visible from the street.In San Antonio, you will be breaking the law if you flirt or respond to flirtation with your hands, eyes, or both–regardless if you are a man or woman.In Temple, if you are a cattle thief, you can be hanged on the spot. You can ride your horse in a saloon, however.

Still looking for more examples of Texas ideas of necessary public law.

5 Comments
  1. Danwood Rather permalink
    April 13, 2010 1:07 am

    very amusing website.i, at first,thought it to be quite serious.then i began to read list of texas laws.if they’re on the books they’d have to be ancient and none of them are enforced whatsoever. the only law,in fact that was anywhere near recently court challenged was the loitering (or anti-loitering) laws,in that particular case,they weren’t banished.loitering laws can be activated by apartment complexes for example ,and even private businesses and i believe even some public ones under certain circumstances./can you imagine how much traffic there’d be and how noisy apartment complexes would be all night if noise and loitering laws weren’t in place?

  2. May 19, 2009 10:57 am

    Hey I think this blog is really interesting 🙂

Trackbacks

  1. Texas blog roundup for the week of May 4 « Off the Kuff
  2. Texas Progressive Alliance - Monday, May 4, 2009 « TruthHugger
  3. Texas Progressive Alliance - Monday, May 4, 2009 | BlueBloggin

Comments are closed.

<span>%d</span> bloggers like this: